When you get married you don’t just show up, you grow up!
10 ways to know if your entering marriage as a grown up.
Couples begin their marriage after they say, “I do,” at their wedding. Sometimes they may feel, as long as I have been able to get through the event of the wedding, then my marriage will go along just fine.
As a relationship coach, and President of Strive 2 Succeed Coaching a consultation service for couples about to get married, I’m here to impart some wisdom. You can’t have a great marriage if one or both of your is not showing up as a grown up. You may ask what does that mean. I’m grown! I make my own money, have my own house or apt.. I do me! That doesn’t mean that you are a grown up when it comes to love. Being a grown up means the understanding the qualities that you can appreciate in your partner won’t necessarily sustain your marriage for the rest of its life. You will have to obtain a deeper sense of yourself and the person you are marrying.
So here is a quiz that was introduced by Dr. Robin Smith in her book Lies at the Alter to determine if your relationship is grown up.
Please answer “Yes” or No” to these 10 questions.
- When my partner is away, I feel insecure or uncertain of his/her devotion.
- I am hurt or humiliated when my partner does not respond to my sexual overtures.
- If I don’t feel excited to see my partner, something is wrong with our relationship.
- I need to hear my partner say “I love you” in order to feel loved.
- My needs and wishes should always be more important to my partner than the needs and wishes of others.
- I deserve a partner who will always try to make me happy.
- My partner is an extension of myself.
- I’ll do most anything to avoid having an argument with my partner.
- Conflict is damaging to a relationship.
- Marriage means that two individuals have merged to become one entity.
If you answer “yes” to any of the questions, you may want to examine if you are holding onto a fantasy ideal of love and marriage, or you have some unresolved obstacles that need to be address.